There is a scourge on our culture that needs to end and it needs to end now.  Something so pathetic that it makes me cringe.  Would I go so far as to say that it reaches the level of being evil?  Well, for the sake of this particular blog that requires that it does reach that level, then yes, I think it’s evil.

This evil appears to be jovial and attractive.  The news this evil is presenting helps one of the sexes more than the other, but both benefit the majority of the time.  This evil cares not about racial divides for this evil believes in equal opportunity to offend.  This evil has believes in presenting stereotypical images about a profession that is thousands of years old, but can be perceived as more of a hobby than a profession to most people.  This evil has taken something that has been cherished for millions for decades and poisoned its memory for future generations.

This evil I’m talking about is the VIVA VIAGRA television campaign.   It must be stopped and it must be stopped now before it does more damage.  Everyone involved in this campaign from the advertising firm, the directors, the actors, the copyright owners of songwriters of VIVA LAS VEGAS, to the Elvis estate for allowing that incredible song to be used in this ridiculous way should be sent straight to bed with no dinner, or Viagra for that matter. 

There are so many things wrong with these commercials that in a perfect world would require a 250 page book to suitably explain.  Knowing that, I will adhere to one of my favorite phrases, "Brevity is the soul of wit".

How convenient that a bunch of guys who are of the age to use Viagra are all together in a funky Blues roadhouse.  Not surprisingly, they also have instruments with them.  This in turn must mean they’re musicians.   If that is the case, which is obviously is, then of course the must "Jam".  Musicians aren’t allowed to gather without "jamming".  From this holy "Jam", a brilliant idea sprung forth from one of the horny Viagra obsessed musicians.  The idea was set forth; let’s destroy a legendary song for future generations and have our children and their children’s children associate this great song with the pursuit of the physical equivalent of the male four hour standing ovation.

Miraculously they all knew the song and they all, spontaneously mind you, contribute lyrics.  While they are doing this, they are extremely happy and quite proud of themselves.  At least their faces are happy.  What’s stoking the fire down below isn’t as happy, thus the reason for this masculine melody to call upon the duties that Viagra happily provides.

I haven’t been in need of Viagra in my life.  Perhaps circumstances whether medical, or simply as I get older, I will need to consider using Viagra.  However, if ever the situation called upon me to consider using Viagra, I damn sure wouldn’t sing about it with a bunch of other guys, let alone tell them to begin with.  Why would I share that need with other guys?  Honestly, I wouldn’t tell anyone.  If the Viagra turns out to help me, I will give no credit to Viagra whatsoever and I will take all the credit.   It takes more than Viagra to have someone want to have sex with you.   Viagra is simply a tool.  When you build a house, you don’t give credit to the hammer that pounded the nails on the roof do you? It’s the pillars that hold the house up.  Viagra is nothing without me buying it and swallowing it. A bullet is nothing without a gun I suppose. That’s why I would give no credit to Viagra if I needed to use it.

What these AFTRA actors and the poor excuse for an advertising team did is unforgivable. They have ruined for future generations a classic American Rock & Roll song performed by the greatest singer in the history of the genre.   From this moment forward, VIVA LAS VEGAS is now identified with Viagra.  From this moment on, when people hear VIVA LAS VEGAS, they can’t help but sing VIVA VIAGRA.  When parents play that song for their kids, all the kids will think is VIAGRA.  Which means the parent will have to explain what VIAGRA is, which is unpleasant to begin with.   I don’t begrudge actors making the money when it’s offered, but this commercial crosses the line.  Sometimes you have to turn down a gig if the gig will cause the cultural equivalent of using weapons of Rock and Roll mass destruction. 

A great song and an honorable profession has been degraded because the pursuit of an orgasm, hopefully for both partners.   Funny thing about orgasms, similar to fluffy little snowflakes, each one is different.  They’re unique biological events that require a unique perspective when discussed.  The advertising firm that pitched this idea, as well as the management of Viagra should be fired. They are as useless as the ad firm and company that gets paid millions to come to the decision to use "Stand by Me" as a theme song for their spot.  Is it too much to expect for some originality?  For something as important for two people as sexual satisfaction, these people shouldn’t just settle for something so stupid.   Unfortunately, their stupidity has done more damage than just the display of stupidity.  The cultural ramification of this commercial is hefty. 

It’s truth time.  While its true musicians occasionally jam, it doesn’t happen often. Real musicians would never have degraded VIVA LAS VEGAS like that, unless the temptation of money was just too strong to deny it.  Men don’t tell other men that they use Viagra, let alone sing about it in public or in private.  Elvis Presley sang a song called VIVA LAS VEGAS and it was bloody brilliant.  Elvis may have used Viagra, along with the hundreds of other pills he was taking, but I have to believe he never would’ve allowed the song to be used in this way.  Men like sex, but is this big news?  These are facts.  Did we really need them to defile a classic song to remind us of these things? 

I have nothing against using Viagra. If you want to use it, knock yourself out. I hope you and the recipient of the powers of Viagra get what you are looking for.  Sex is fun. This commercial isn’t fun.  As a matter of fact, repeated viewing of this commercial will eliminate any power that Viagra provides a man.   Take this commercial off the air and give our younger generation a chance to hear VIVA LAS VEGAS in the correct form.  Even after his death, we’ve sucked so much more life out of Elvis, is there need to do more to the poor man?